What is Young Friends?
Young Friends is the youth group for high school-aged (grades 9-12) folks in New England Yearly Meeting of Friends (Quakers). We meet about once a month through-out the school year at retreats at different meetinghouses around New England. The Young Friends Program is a great place to make friends, meet other Quaker teens, learn more about Quakerism and your spiritual life, explore different topics, and learn more about yourself.
What is a retreat like?
Each retreat has its own theme or topic, chosen by the Young Friends at yearly Meeting. Retreats start at 7:30 pm on Friday nights and end around noon on Sundays. Friday nights we play games, get to know each other a bit and meet in small groups called "affinity groups". Saturday morning there is singing, program, and worship. After lunch there is a large chunk of free time for games, napping, reading, and hanging out. Late afternoon, there are usually interest groups - a chance to explore some aspect of the topic in greater depth. After dinner, there is more singing, evening program and affinity groups meet again. Sunday morning is busy with cleaning up the meetinghouse, doing some final closing and evaluation as a group, and worshipping with the host Meeting.
What are the retreat topics?
The Young Friends choose the retreat topics every year at Sessions in August. Popular retreat topics have been: Quakerism & Spirituality, World Cultures & Religions, Silence, Sexuality & Relationships, Gender (separate retreats for boys and girls), Peace, Racism, etc. No matter what the retreat topic, there is almost always time to talk about the issues and ideas that you bring.
What if I don't know anybody else?
Come anyway! Young Friends are incredibly welcoming and friendly. You will make friends quickly, people will talk to you, and you will have fun. This is not like high school, really.
How much do retreats cost?
Retreats cost $0 - $50 per person, with a $5 discount for each sibling from a family attending. We ask everyone to pay what they can. You pay when you get to the retreat, checks can be made out to "NEYM Young Friends."
What will be expected of me?
You will be expected to participate in all programs and worship - being there and sharing as much or as little as you want. You will also be expected to work with your Affinity group to help prepare, set-up, and clean-up a meal. Each Young Friend commits to being inclusive of everyone at the retreat and to abstain from alcohol, drugs, and sexual intimacy (i.e. smooching, etc.). Young Friends may smoke cigarettes, outside, by themselves, during free time at retreats - but we strongly encourage YF's to not smoke at all. We also ask that all Young Friends stay on the property and that no one uses their car during the retreat. We expect everyone - Resource People (staff) and Young Friends to be respectful of each other and to work to create a strong, loving, accepting community.
Who are the staff?
The staff - we call them Resource People or RP's - are Quakers from throughout New England who really like teenagers and Young Friends. RP's range in age from 21 to 60-something and love to share their experiences, interests, talents, and learn about yours. We usually have 12-14 RP's at each retreat. Each RP has completed an application, sent in a number of references, and gone through an interview to make sure that each of our staff is someone who should be working with young people and is going to be awesome.
Do we really have to go to bed at 11:30 pm?
YES! 11:30 pm is when we usually go to bed - this means each person is in her/his own sleeping bag and everywhere is quiet enough for people to sleep. It is really important that we all get enough sleep so we can have the energy to be together during the retreat.
What should I bring to a retreat?
We'll send you this list along with directions just before a retreat.
1. Sleeping bag and pillow (and sleeping pad if you want - we sleep on the floor)
2. Wash cloth and soap
3. Mug w/ your name on it
4. Toiletries and any medicines
5. Comfy clothing - Meetinghouses range from stifling hot to wicked cold, so bring layers to peel off or on
6. Night clothes you don't mind being seen in
7. Musical instruments, journal, camera, games, cards, frisbee, etc.
8. If you are someone who falls asleep better listening to music, it is OK to bring a walk/discman/MP3, but please only plan on using it quietly, by yourself at night. We ask people not to be "plugged in" during most of the retreat.
9. Cell phones - if you carry a cell phone, please do not plan on using it during the retreat. It is great to call your folks to let them know that you arrived safely, but just like e-music, it is a barrier to you being part of the community during the weekend.
Can I bring a friend to a retreat?
Yes, we are always happy to meet new people. Your friend will need to fill out a registration form. While it is great to share retreats with friends from home, we expect that both of you will not spend the whole weekend together, but will get to know other Young Friends. Make sure you tell your friend about Quakers before they come your friend is knows what s/he is getting into. We ask all participants to join in our program, including worship. If your friend cannot participate in Quaker worship because of their own religious beliefs, that is fine.
Who runs Young Friends?
Young Friends is part of the youth programs of the Yearly Meeting and is overseen by Youth Programs Committee, whose clerk, Peter Colby, is happy to answer questions about the Yearly Meeting youth programs (978)433-9808. Young Friends has its own Ministry & Counsel that helps guide the group, helps people follow the commitments, and looks after the spiritual life of the group. Young Friends also has a paid coordinator, Kim Allen, who organizes the retreats, sends out mailings, and checks in with Young Friends between retreats. Kim was a Young Friend during 1995-1998 and the Young Friends Clerk during 1997-1998.
There is this cool adult at my Meeting . . . could s/he RP?
YES! We are always looking for new staff or people who might be interested in presenting part of a program or interest group. Look around your home Meetings - who might be someone who could lead a workshop at a retreat this year? Most adults are really pretty flattered when teenagers ask them to come to a retreat. Let Kim know if you have some one in mind.
What kind of food do we eat?
Each retreat has a different cook, so the food varies a bit. Breakfast might be cereal and muffins, with soup and make your own sandwich for lunch, and then spaghetti and salad for dinner. We always have vegetarian and vegan options (make sure to tell us that you are vegan/vegetarian on the health form so we can have enough food), as well as lots of peanut butter and jelly, soy milk, and snacks. Most of the food is pretty simple, healthy, and yummy.