New England Friends Women
United Society of Friends Women
Winter (February) 2003
Message from your Clerk
Dear Sisters of Spirit,
I have come out of a somnolent state of holiday cheer and my soul is awakened to a double tragedy.
First I'm shocked again at the US's obscene use of military might. It's not just the pending war against Iraq that I'm worried about. This war is just as painful as the recent war in Afghanistan and before that in Yugoslavia, before that Ethiopia (or was it Grenada?), which followed the war in El Salvador, and ....the legion of wars on the heels of the US war against Vietnam. Our society is addicted to using weapons to resolve problems. This addiction to dominate is the spiritual issue Quakers need to address. To talk about stopping the current war is just the context for confronting our evil in employing arms instead of respect, negotiation and humility. What special message can Friends add to the national discussion about starting a war without the UN support? Our nations are looking to the American people to stop this war. Can we speak out at work, while shoveling snow or at the library? People are hungry for alternatives. We can give hope to building a Culture of Peace that precludes ever initiating war.
As I work to stop the war, I see how hard it is for me to change my lifestyle and give up my comforts (cars, chocolates, hot baths). I'm aware of my many privileges in living in the USA. When my child became sick this week, I could drop my organizing for justice to nurse my son. I had all the medicines and wholesome foods needed to help his recovery. No one died because I took a break from organizing. This shows me how my family and I aren't living on the front lines. We have a choice as to how much we work for God's 'peaceable kingdom.' This is our class and white privilege. But every aircraft carrier we send to the Middle East means less money to teach our children, less money to feed the hungry. I met with some African immigrants this month who speak Portuguese. They worry about the US war, but they worry more that the Boston police will arrest their young sons unjustly.
Many people around the world are praying that the American people can stop our government from conducting this war. I know George Bush was not elected by the majority of the people but we are praying that he will repent (turn around) as a Christian and respond as it says in Romans 12: "Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. ..if your enemies are hungry, feed them; if they are thirsty, give them something to drink; for by doing this you will heap burning coals on their heads. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
May you pray and work for justice and peace. And thank God for flannel sheets.
Minga Claggett-Borne, Clerk
PS: I'm thrilled that Sharon, Sukie and Molly have slides of Kakamega USFW project and are led to travel in the ministry. They will be speaking at Cambridge Meeting on First Day, 2 Third Month , so if you're in the area, join us.
Please support NEYM USFW. Send your contribution today.
Checks should be made out to USFW of NEYM and sent to:
USFW treasurer, PO Box 1401, Shirley, MA 01464
with the following information:
Enclosed total amount $________________________
Please use it as specified below:
_________________ Swift Purscell Boys Home and Lyndale Home for Girls in Jamaica for students needs
_________________ Contribution to the General fund of USFW of NEYM
At the fall USFW meeting, Becky Williams shared with us about her family's experience working at the Swift Purscell Boys Home and the Lyndale Home for Girls in Jamaica.
When the Williams first arrived in Jamaica they found that the problems with the physical conditions were obvious, no water, roof leaks, but it was the subtle hidden needs that they needed most to attend to. As Becky began working with the remedial reading class she discovered that the children had a fear of being hit. It took some of the children a long time to learn to trust the Williamses. One of the first things the Williamses needed to do was to teach the staff to add praise when talking to children. They try to make the Boys and Girls Homes a place of safety.
Protective Child Services place the children, ages 10 -18, in the homes, but the subsidy from the government is not enough to cover the costs. They usually stay at the homes until age 18 unless their home situation changes and they can go home earlier. The Friends Homes don't force the children out except when they don't abide by rules.
Becky asks us pray for a permanent superintendent, for the boys and girls and for the staff.
Ann Armstrong, Stewardship
The whole experience [visiting NEYM USFW] was a good one for me, and it felt so good to be able to share with the women. We miss the homes [Swift Purscell Boys Home and Lyndale Home for Girls] and the children so very much!
Since we were there last, I would say the school expenses are an area that always needs a boost. This includes books, uniforms, shoes, lunch money, transportation, and fees for certain tests etc. Another area is the general upkeep of the homes: like repairs, electrical work, plumbing, just general upkeep of the buildings themselves. When we left I know Dorrell Blake in the girls home, was trying to get enough money in the building fund so Lyndale could add on to their building for a library, computer, study area. I am not sure how that is going.
We are still trying to settle into this busy life of the USA. This culture of ours does take some getting use to. Sarita is enjoying her high school Junior year, and has done well in her studies. Dwaine is working as a physical therapist full time, and I am doing part time work as a nurse. We miss Jamaica, and right now the warm weather of that island, but most of all the kids we left behind. But God is good, and has provided for all our needs and even some of our wants.
And we have Jamaica always in our prayers and in our hearts.
Blessings on you,
Becky
This is the most important part of the trip to Kakamega Kenya that Molly, Sharon and I made in December.
Dorothy Selebwa arranged that 16 orphan children should live with us for a week at her family's home. Thus Sharon, Molly and I got to know them well; and what an uplifting time we had crayoning with them, brushing teeth, eating, cleaning up, playing ball, showing pictures of Maine and singing and singing. But I found I would suddenly begin to weep. I would be going along enjoying what the day was bringing to me. Then I would think of 18-year old Tom and his future and I would begin to weep. I would be singing with the children late well into the night then before going to bed, someone would say something that referred to the probability that one of "our" children was HIV positive and would die of AIDS, and I would begin to weep. I would listen to the clear, perfect voice of 13 year old Purity who will probably never be given the chance to develop her extraordinary gift, and the sound of her voice would just trigger something deep within me and I would begin to weep. I never knew when it would happen. And as someone who doesn't cry often I was surprised---but glad that I was alive to these beautiful children
The Quaker women of Kakamega decided last year to support 16 orphans from different parts of the District so they could go to school. School had just let out when we arrived and so they arranged that these children would come together and stay with us. (We had written that we "wanted to get to know the children" during our stay. But we didn't mean that they should LIVE with us for a week! "But I need my American Time and Space and Privacy!" thought we. Guess what? There's ALWAYS more room....so Move Over.)
It turned out to be an inspiration. For it became the focus of our trip. We feel more committed now than ever to these children. And to their future.
"For it is in Giving that we Receive."
We hope to find people and groups of people who will "sponsor" children so they can go to school. Some of these children, like Tom and Lydia, have spent years watching their father first grow thin and weak and die of AIDS, then care for their mother as she shows the symptoms and dies as well. They all live with a grandmother, "auntie" or uncle. Someone who can give them shelter, but do not have the means to give them the opportunities for a future.
Sukie Rice, Friends of Kakamega
The fall meeting of the New England USFW was held on October 19, 2002. at Durham Friends Meetings, Durham, Maine after an inspiring morning program featuring Becky Williams speaking about her family's work in Jamaican and the needs of the Swift Purscell Boys Home and Lyndale Home for Girls. We were also blessed with the presence of Heidi Blocher who shared her concerns and experience in Switzerland Yearly Meeting. After a delicious lunch coordinated by Theresa Oleksiw of Durham Meeting, Minga Claggett Borne opened the business meeting with worship and thanksgiving for the lunch.
1. The process of approving minutes was discussed and we decided to read and approve minutes during the meeting after which they could be published in the newsletter.
2. We approved honoraria for Becky Williams, ($100), Paul Hood ($50 for his middle east media project) and Ben Richmond ($50 for Ramallah Friends schools).
3. Treasurer's Report. Clarabel Marstaller circulated the report for Jan 1 - Oct. 14, 2002. The Budget for 2003 was approved with the following adjustments: it was recommended that the Contingency Fund be increased to $200 to cover baby sitting, programs, etc. and the Newsletter to $700 bringing the total budget to $3020. We were challenged to encourage more paid memberships in our meetings to cover our budget commitments. The annual dues are $8 per member.
4. Special appeals for winter and spring. It was approved that the Winter appeal would be for Jamaica Swift Purscell Boys Home and Lyndale Home for Girls for students needs. The Spring appeal will be donations to the Boston Evangelical Friends Church women's group. These appeals will be published in our newsletter.
5. East African Summit: Eden Grace read a letter proposing to meet November 24, 2002 to discuss various ongoing East African projects of different Meetings and individuals. It was suggested that New England USFW and NE FUM Committee coordinate this summit meeting. We approved USFW's involvement and appointed USFW representatives Ann Armstrong, Margaret Wentworth, and Minga Claggett-Borne.
6. Kakamega Project One of the East African service projects has been the "Friends of Kakamega" concern and inspiration to support a building to feed and house Aids orphans in the Kakamega area in cooperation with Kakamega Yearly Meeting USFW. Sukie Rice reported that funds have been raised and sent in support of this project. Marian Baker is in contact with Kakamega women and thinks they are fiscally responsible. Sukie, Molly Duplisea, and Sharon Salmon will visit Kakamega in December, and a workcamp is planned for next summer. It was approved that NE USFW will continue to encourage financial support (receive funds) for this project and are committed to this Special Appeal until the second floor housing unit is finished, after which we encourage individuals and Meetings to continue to be involved. Disbursement of funds for this project will be authorized by the USFW officers (pres, vice p, secretary, and treasurer) plus one member of the "Friends of Kakamega" group.
7. Hiedi Blocher brought a letter from Swiss Quakers who are involved in another Kakamega Quaker project. This letter will be published in our newsletter.
8. The Newsletter Editor reminded us of the January 10 deadline for articles.
9. Barbara Sturrock volunteered to serve on the Nominating Committee for 2 years. We heartily approved. One more member is needed!
10. Spring meeting. We approved meeting on May 4th or 11th at Smithfield after Meeting for Worship. Marian Baker has volunteered to coordinate the program,. We propose a report from the FUM Triennial representatives and other East African visits.
11. The meeting adjourned after a warm worshipful friendship circle.
Respectfully submitted,
Dorothy Hinshaw , in absence of our secretary, Marian Baker
For years, my heroine, believe it or not, has been Whoopi Goldberg. Whatever social issues I have discovered value in, arriving at a courageous place to speak on it, there was Whoopi, already creating daring stand-up acts in front of thousands of Americans, amazingly compelling them to laugh at their own prejudice, value judgments, racial and class preference and hardened hearts formed by complacency. Whoopi made me laugh at myself. She made me laugh at my Anglo privilege. She made me sigh at my cautious liberal view points blocking me from the true path to Truth. Caught in the joyous contagion of truth, Whoopi often led me directly to the presence of infinite Light, as if in a maze of laughter and suddenly arriving at the center where the blinding light of God's awesome Truth faced me and I stood stunned. Yes Whoopi was my hero.
During Thanksgiving weekend of 2001 I traveled to Nantucket Island and discovered another woman who stands a step above Whoopi in my "hero" category now. As Whoopi has a degree in English and studied in British drama school and excels in history; Lucretia Coffin Mott might have inspired her as well. Any well read Quaker on the east coast knows all about Lucretia Mott, but I am a transplanted Quaker from the west, and her story was new to me. As I walked along the shoreline amidst the dunes, past the unmarked burial ground where thousands of orthodox Quakers lie in the Island stillness, upon the cobblestone roads so unique to the island, Lucretia's life came alive to me. I read of her outspoken nature (like Whoopi), her pioneering efforts for women's rights (like Whoopi), her tireless service to the African-Americans entrenched in slavery (like Whoopi - social and economic slavery), and her complete and total dedication to education and peace (yes, like Whoopi).
This year we planned the trip to Nantucket again, taking two new Friends and new members from our meeting. We called Nantucket Friends in hopes of attending silent worship. No one answered our call. Deciding to walk along the shore after a storm that had strewn the coastline with an interesting array of shells and debris, we traveled to another section of the island where the wind was blowing ferociously and the surf wild and unruly. There on the beach was the miraculous body of a pilot whale -- no pod, just one lone whale. We suspected he had passed this life but not certain. In a moment very sacred to me it felt as if the whale explained his fate, silently, from mind to mind. That story will remain with me. But the whale so grand, so beautiful, slick black and white skin, so peaceful, I've watched them leap in the air with their partners. What happened to his pod? Why was he alone? What message did he have for us?
The whale was the final surprise and the final question, not unlike the Quakers of Nantucket island. Where are they? Where have they gone? The great roots of Lucretia Mott grew deep on that island and the fruits of her labors in life were great. There is not a soul who can guide me in her footsteps on that island, show me the home she lived in or tell me the stories of the island when it was all Quaker. Somehow my vision of my heroine has changed, I see the white hand of Lucretia joining the dark hand of Whoopi and they walk down a path together, waiting to burn a fire in the hearts and minds in another soul like myself, they belong to no land, to no country for they dwell in the heart of God.
Christine Lundquist Wozich, Christian Service
I journeyed to Kenya in November with Molly Duplisea and Sukie Rice. The three of us had been deeply moved upon hearing two Quaker Kenyan women, Dorothy Selebwa and Leunita Mufogwa, speak of the plight of the families and particularly of the children of their region at the All-Maine Gathering of Friends in South China last May. The children they told us about had been left parent-less, and therefore, homeless, by the scourge of the AIDS virus which had killed their parents.
In the summer, we felt moved again -- this time to travel to Kakamega in November and be present for the annual meeting of the USFW in early December. We wanted to connect our hearts to this project and to the people of Kakamega. What we found there was far more and greater than ever we expected or could have known, and I have been shaken to my roots.
I found myself face-to-face with a deep and living faith as I watched these people go about their daily lives. I came to realize the gift nestled in the hardship of not having the immediate resources to provide whatever the need is; a deprivation which has pressured them to rely on their strong faith. What an inspiration to witness the path of the Kenyan Friends we lived with! Their path was prayer and faith and ceaseless service. They placed their hopes and needs and worries before the Lord, and then they prayed for His will to be done. And it is being done -- the first floor of the orphanage has been basically completed, though it still needs plumbing, wiring, windows, and furnishings. The shell of the second floor has begun, and eventually a third floor will be erected as well. We were impressed that the church women had managed to raise so much money themselves despite slim resources, and we remain committed to helping with fundraising so that this wonderful project can be finished.
In this small Kenyan Quaker environs, the rampant poverty and hopelessness in most of Kenya was tempered, because out of love and faith people shared what they had and served one another, especially their orphaned children. Here I got in touch with what it must be like to have gratitude for every small thing in life and also the beginning realization of how little, how very little, I would really need in order to live a happy and satisfying life and to grow spiritually.
Friends of Kakamega plans a two-week long service project trip for Summer 2003. We envision a camp kind of experience with appropriate work on the building project, lots of games, singing, and crafts with the children, and some sightseeing.
Sharon Salmon, Friends of Kakamega
The children in Dover Friends Meeting squirm and whisper, giggle and make signs to each other during the fifteen minutes they join meeting for worship causing many parents (and others) to wonder if their time in our silent worship is meaningful for them.
Recently I asked the children in our meeting about the time they spend in our silent meeting for worship and about silence in their lives - when it is welcome and when it is not.
It will not be surprising to most parents that children sometimes long for silence. Anyone who has ever had a child climb up in their lap to cuddle silently, or watched a child watch out the window near a bird feeder or listened to one sibling admonishing another to "be quiet" (at a time when the TV is not on), can attest to the fact that silence can be an important part of the spiritual life of children.
The children of Dover Friends Meeting noted that silence is important to them when they feel stressed out, when they just come home from school, and sometimes when they are out in nature. A longing for silence comes from inside themselves, at times when they need to solve a problem or think about something that happened to them during the day.
While silence in meeting is acknowledged by some children to be welcome time to think over a problem or try to meditate, silence imposed from the outside is often seen by children as a sort of punishment. "We are supposed to be praying," one child noted. "We are supposed to sit down and shut up," said another. This is clearly a "should" time for most children, during which they must control their behavior, and which falls at a time, for many, when they don't feel an inner urging for silence. (Perhaps if meetings were held at the end of the school day, the silence would come more naturally for our children.)
Does this mean that children should not be included in meeting for worship? Absolutely not. Sharing time in meeting for worship with our children is one way to help them develop spiritually. I believe that the practice of worshiping in silence actually gives Quaker children a stronger connection to their own spirits. However, I think it is important for all of us to remember that children are children, and as such they live in the present moment to a degree many adults only vaguely remember. It doesn't hurt to remind children regularly that silent worship needs to be silent, but the giggles and whispers will probably be around as long as children are a part of meeting. I hope that the example of our silent worship will draw them in over time as they grow to an age when the longing for quiet contemplation becomes an increasingly powerful part of their spiritual life.
By Virginia Schonwald, Children and Youth
Phyllis Tickle is a writer, an editor, a wife, and a mother. She has led the life of an active modern woman, thoroughly engaged in the world. She has also led a life of ever-deepening prayer. In her book, The Shaping of a Life, Doubleday, 2001, she looks back over nearly seventy years to discern those influences and experiences that pointed her toward the spirituality of her mature years.
There is something fascinating in following another's spiritual journey, especially if the writer is a near contemporary. Phyllis Tickle grew up in the 30's and 40's, went to college in the 50's, married young and had children young. She lived a familiar mid-century woman's story. With remarkable immediacy, she pulls back the memories that have dominated her interior life over the course of her long spiritual journey. She recalls the numinous moments of childhood; she pinpoints moments of illumination in adolescence and young adulthood. She remembers what it meant to be living within the box of others' expectations, and how sometimes those expectations were internalized to her detriment. She brings back the excitement of early college years, when, under a remarkable (and deeply spiritual) tutor, she delved with joy into classical languages. Her response to the wonder and power of words led inevitably to her devotion to biblical reading and the use of the Anglican Book of Common Prayer.
The book is unusual for its blending of the spiritual and the everyday aspects of life. She takes us through the early years of her marriage. In those years, her husband was in medical school, (later going through internship, residency, etc.) The couple had very little money. We learn about their makeshift economies, such as eating rabbit that had been priced down in the supermarket (not Phyllis's favorite delicacy).
Phyllis Tickle's recorded memories are special because they are blended with her sense that, always, she was growing spiritually, being pulled forward on the path toward the person she was meant to be. She tells about the books she read, about the group of young fellow-seekers she and her husband met at a Presbyterian church, about her conversations with a wise elderly minister.
For Quakers, it is interesting to learn how important it has been for Phyllis Tickle to recite "set prayers". Since college, she has used the Psalms and the Book of Common Prayer. As a young mother, she tried to establish a time of personal prayer at 4 PM every day, but the set prayers continued in the mornings. Later, she began to "pray the hours" (the ancient spiritual discipline of the Benedictines). These practices continue now, as she approaches her seventies. The combination of her own and others' prayers is a fruitful blend for her, as it has been for countless Christians through the ages.
This is a complex book with a style that requires the careful attention of the reader. It is well worth that attention.
Kathy Mulhern, Literature
Through your "New England Friends Women" Newsletter, which Heidi Blocher passes sometimes on to me, I feel very near you.
Perhaps some of you were also at the World Conference 1991 in Chavakali. We had then the possibility to assist a local project 2 weeks before the conference and to live there in a family. I chose Kakamega and felt there very soon at home. Especially the women impressed me for their genuine trust in God and their inspired and active collaboration in their "Umoya Wetu" Women's Group. With two of them I'm still in contact.
Eileen Malova, one of them, has for years felt a responsibility for young intelligent women, who have no money for a professional education. Through her "Imara Secretarial and Commercial College" in a little flat in the town of Kakamega - hundreds of them got instructed and found a job. Because of the great numbers of candidates, also boys, the government of the town put a plot at her disposal to build a double story college with not only school rooms but also workshops. I encouraged Zurich Meeting to give her the legacy (20 000-Sfr.) of Lisa Berg, our dear late member. This enable her to put up the ground floor. Another 10 000 Sfr. from a former legacy and private donations allowed her to put the concrete on the walls. She thinks now that the AIDS-orphans project has priority. I hope, that this college - achieved at last - will help many of theses children to get a profession and a job. It would perhaps be interesting for the two women of NE USFW who go to Kakamega in December to look at this project, too. I remember that Marian Baker met Eileen at a YM in Kakamega but had no time to see the beginning of the building.
I feel connected with you in thoughts and prayers as I do with Eileen.
Antoinette Schmitt, Zurich Meeting Switzerland
I attended the 2002 Yearly Meeting Sessions as a commuter, making the long daily trek from north of Boston to Wheaton College Saturday through Wednesday.
I arrived home Sunday early evening to an e-mail message from the Boston Vegetarian Society (I am an omnivore member of the BVS). Along with the announcement of a program on that Sunday, and the upcoming monthly dinner, there was a public service announcement that American Field Service Intercultural Programs, Inc. was always looking for families to host foreign high school students. The message said that nontraditional families were okay, and that vegetarian families were especially welcome, as foreign vegetarian students were often harder to place.
Well, that message just would not let go of me. I could not delete it. It would not leave me alone!
After some prayer and thought on that Sunday evening I went to the AFS web page (http://www.afs.org/), refreshed my memory about its origins (American ambulance drivers in France during World War I), and read its mission statement: AFS is an international, voluntary, non-governmental, nonprofit organization that provides inter cultural learning opportunities to help people develop the knowledge, skills and understanding needed to create a more just and peaceful world. AFS enables people to act as responsible global citizens working for peace and understanding in a diverse world. It acknowledges that peace is a dynamic concept threatened by injustice, inequity and intolerance. AFS seeks to affirm faith in the dignity and worth of every human being and of all nations and cultures. It encourages respect for human rights and fundamental freedoms without distinction as to race, sex, language, religion or social status.
I filled out a preliminary application, initially specifying I was interested in hosting a female student from x, y, or z countries, thinking primarily of languages I knew - Japanese and Russian - or areas of the world I was interested in. (When I was a senior in high school, my family hosted a Japanese student, who now works for AFS-Japan and who is still my closest friend).
On Monday evening, I got home from YM sessions around 7:30 and found a voice mail message from someone from the AFS office in Baltimore. I called her and she promptly returned my call. She told me that no vegetarian students were in need of host families at this time but there were a few students arriving in the Boston area without host families to go to. I asked a lot of questions, especially about nontraditional families (I have never married and have no children). I said that I was interested.
Meanwhile at YM I was talking to a family who had also been involved in AFS in years past, both as host and as exchange student. They reassured me that I was following a leading and not an impulse.
Tuesday night I returned from YM to find a phone message from a Massachusetts AFS representative. I called her and we spoke for two hours. She provided more detail about the students arriving in the Boston area in the coming week who were not yet assigned to host families and I expressed interest in the student from Greenland. She sent me that student's file with URLs to more detailed application information. I read over the application, called her back, and said Yes, I wanted to be her host family.
Wednesday night after I got home from YM I got a phone call telling me to come on Thursday afternoon to a host family orientation at Pine Manor College, where I would be taking my newly arrived *daughter* home. Five months have passed since that e-mail message compelled me to become a host parent, and while I cannot say it has been easy, I am glad that I followed that leading. I am proud to be part of one of the world's largest community-based volunteer organizations dedicated to building a more just and peaceful world.
Christina Smith, Adult Missionary Eduaction
The East Africa Summit meeting raised many questions, some of which are listed below. After an afternoon of sharing and discussion the group felt that more discernment was needed, so all interested Friends are invited to gather on Sunday, 23 March 2003 at Dover Meeting.
* How do we ask for accountability without imposing our standards on Africans?
* What does our desire to do good mask: guilt and racism, power and control?
* What are our motivations?
* What do we want?
* What do Kenyans want?
* What does God want?
* Whose way of doing do we accept, esp. when we have so much more power?
* Can we give gifts freely?
* How do we communicate with larger Friends organizations?
* How can we be tender with each other and love each other through a hard process?
* Concern that our relationships be spiritual, ministry.
* How do we draw on wisdom, to see potential harm from our desire to help?
* What do we in NE have to share with EA (not Money) from our long history as one of the oldest YMs?
Please read Eden Grace's article in The New England Friend (Winter 2003) for more information. Or you can contact or Ann Armstrong by e-mail <usfw@neym.org> or write Ann at PO Box 1401, Shirley, MA 01464-1401