ISSUE #18 NEYM OFFICE, 901 PLEASANT STREET, WORCESTER MA 01602 June, 1999

Christel Jorgenson, Ed.

Inside this issue:

If your meeting is looking for materials or needs help organizing its First Day School, call the NEYM Youth and Education Secretary, Chris Jorgenson, at 617-925-4494

The NEYM Christian Education Committee is composed of volunteers from around the Yearly Meeting whose special concern is First Day School and adult education within meetings.

If you would like to be on the committee, or if your Quarter would like a program, call the clerk, Wanda Coffin Baker at 508- 636-2756.

Note: This numbering does not reflect any Christian Education Committee prioritizing of your life goals!

All you need to register is contained in the latest New England Friend. Register by July 9 for lowest cost. We look forward to seeing you there!

I myself have used this quote, but now I’m suspicious when it’s used, at least in a religious education context. I hear: "If you don’t have faith, how can you give it to these children?" Is that really how it goes? Do we really "give" faith to children? How does it really work?

There are books and books about developing faith in children -- I won’t attempt to cover that topic here -- but I do want to encourage us as Friends to reach beyond "giving what we have". Can we teach the Bible, even though we have doubts or we haven’t taken a class? Can we teach conflict-resolution, even though we can’t solve all the conflicts in our own lives? I would say "yes!"

We are often stopped because we think we don’t have enough: enough faith, enough wisdom, enough time, enough expertise, enough materials. Yet I believe that God creates a sufficient world. If we are doing God’s work, that is, the work intended for each of us to do, we will have what we need. "God’s work" , though, may not be the same as "good work", and "having what we need" is not the same as "being successful". "Good work" and "success" are the world’s terms. It is a challenge to hold on to the principle of calling, which is listening for divine answers to guide our lives, rather than using worldly measures for guidance, and our own standards for success. The question becomes "What does God want of our meeting and First Day School?" And after that, "What ways is God enabling us to do it?"

So how might you go about this?

Ask God. Batter down God’s door for your meeting.

Ask people to pray. Bring the meeting together to focus on these questions. Ask individuals in your meeting (especially those who don’t picture themselves as teachers) to pray for the intention of the meeting children. Assign prayer buddies. Dole out issues that need particular prayer. Everyone can pray. Help the children to learn about praying, too.

Ask for people to contribute to First Day School with their gifts. Time? Please copy and mail this. Photography? Please help us make a bulletin board of the meeting children. Computer whiz? Please search the web for . . . Gardening? Maybe we can do a fundraising sale of garden plants. Driving? Please help us take children to yearly meeting retreats. Patience? We have a boy who needs one-on-one attention.

Give each other thanks. Appreciate whatever is being done in service to the meeting. Tell individuals. Put it in your newsletter. Put it on the bulletin board. Give little gifts of appreciation. It’s another way to involve the children: what gift might they make or find for their First Day School teacher?

Is it true that we can’t give what we don’t have? Yes. But if we put our trust in the spirit of Christ, our personal inadequacy is not the limiting factor – it is God’s work. Our task is to open ourselves to this working, and to help others to be aware of this possibility, too.

Friends United Meeting sent to every meeting a packet for the 1999 Children’s Mission Project, which is Friends Lugulu Hospital in Kenya, East Africa.

Last summer Westport Meeting's Religious Ed committee decided to try a new strategy, but our initial challenge grew as soon as we asked for input. Parents and Meeting members expressed desires for more "meaningful" content, opportunities for service, and the nurturance of friendships across age groups. Some wanted their older children to spend more time in worship. Young people loudly stated they wanted craft projects, fun things to do, and choices -- lots of choices. On top of that, we reminded ourselves of the need to remain welcoming to our summer visitors' children, whenever they appeared.

Almost paralyzed by the deluge of ideas, we were able to get moving when we realized that we could approach this new program as an experiment -- a work in progress. In expecting both successes and failures we encouraged ourselves and our entire Meeting to be more creative. It was a good lesson for us.

We called our experiment "Summer Meeting." We envisioned it as a series of one-session opportunities for adults and young people to explore ideas and activities, while mindfully attending to our Meeting's community. In the planning phase, long sheets of shelf paper helped visualize the entire summer program -- 15 Sundays from the first week of June through Labor Day. We designated the last First Days of each month as "Family Worship," when all but the youngest children stayed in Worship the entire time.

Initially, Religious Ed. brainstormed lists of project ideas and Meeting adults who might provide leadership. This list included two elders who have been Meeting members for almost 80 years, a man who makes wooden spoons, an elder whose garden needed weeding, a field trip to the beach, and a visit to a Friend's farm. We made a plan for approaching these individuals and thought about how to encourage additional ideas and leaders to come forward.

We made a colorful 4 by 6 foot calendar and sign-up sheet for the hallway, which showed not only each First Day, but also when our Meeting's Book Sale, Yearly Meeting and China Camp sessions fell. A few committee members immediately volunteered to provide leadership for specific days, and these were plotted on the calendar. It was reassuring to our Business Meeting that some of these days and slots were already covered.

We asked for four adults to be available each First Day, one of which was specifically designated to care for the youngest children, but we didn't always need that many. It was important that one of the adults be someone who knew our Meeting's kids well to help with disputes or crises. While these adults tended to be our "worn-out" teachers, no one needed to volunteer for more than 2 Sundays throughout the summer. The rest of the time they stayed in Worship.

Each First Day program started with a large group circle, facilitated by the same adult all summer. Feedback from children and adults confirmed that this continuity and leadership was key to the program's success. The circle served as a place for introductions, announcements, attendance, and problem-solving. Sometimes we also sang a song or listened to a story. The opening circle reassured the younger children that even though the activities and other adults weren't the same each week, it was still the same program!

Over the course of the summer we made pastry-covered baked apples; planted flower baskets and made ice-cream sandwiches to sell at our Book Sale; painted with watercolors; went to the beach and the farm; did origami and Sculpey; played games with the parachute; cleaned up around the property; learned a little about Tai chi; and played in the sandbox. A couple of days there were glitches and we didn't have much program content other than spitting watermelon seeds and keeping cool in the shade.

Through our glitches, we learned that it's critical to have one adult oversee and coordinate the program, and nurture the adult volunteers, especially the reluctant leaders. She/he can make sure each day's staff is balanced with some experienced youth workers, ensuring that the program is consistent and intact. It also gives a starting point for last-minute cancellations.

Our Religious Ed committee was delighted with the number and variety of adults who volunteered. Many adults who don't normally teach First Day School expressed satisfaction with their experiences and are ready to try another slot this summer. Summer Meeting seems to be a perfect opportunity for adults who don't want to make the yearlong commitment to a FDS class or who are unsure what they have to offer kids. Our teachers were rejuvenated in Worship and inspired by the fact that the Meeting supported them to take care of their own spiritual needs. Parents and young people both expressed satisfaction with the content (though it made them think of more ideas they want next year.

I've spent the winter thinking about ways to graphically enhance the schedule calendar. The kids are working on the improved list of candy for the field trip to the beach.

We're gearing up for Round 2 of our Summer Meeting experiment.

In my opinion, the primary goal of having children in meeting is to encourage their own spiritual development: by experiencing the divine Presence in a gathered meeting, and by learning how to approach that Presence by sitting in silent waiting. At Fresh Pond, children enter in the last fifteen minutes of worship, so that they can sense a settled, meeting and perhaps hear some of the messages.

We cannot, of course, ensure that anyone experiences the Holy Spirit at a particular moment. But if we teach our children the disciplines which help us, we can hope they will begin to experience it on their own.

Recognizing this as an ongoing process for all of us, and that we are committed to a certain amount of restlessness in worship, parents have a special role in helping their children learn. To make the learning as positive as possible for both the child and meeting, I suggest:

1) Prepare for meeting. An ideal is experiencing family worship during the week. Also talk about appropriate behavior on the way to Sunday meeting: "When you come in, you can sit on my lap, or next to me, but you can’t talk, or kick the chair in front of you." It’s useful to have the child repeat back your rules , which may change over time, or be different for different children. Also, talking on the way home about any messages during their stay in meeting will help them pay attention and think about what they heard. Don’t be afraid to share your own thoughts and reactions.

2) Model appropriate behavior. If you clearly break your own state of worship to greet your child enthusiastically, even if it’s quiet, they get the message that it’s okay. Balance the maintaining of worship with your child’s need to be recognized by you.

3) Be aware of the impact of your child in the meeting for worship. How much noise or moving around is too much? There are no easy answers. A child having a tantrum, in almost every case, should be removed. Less clear may be the toddler walking around, tapping chairs, making an occasional loud remark, or a four year old rolling around on the floor. The parent should make some quiet effort to minimize the movement and noise. If efforts fail, evaluate the impact on the worship and on other children, balanced with their need to be in worship. "Are my child’s actions making it hard for adults to stay centered? Or for other children to stay quietly in their chairs?" Though not everyone in meeting has young children, everyone who has been to worship with a two year old has been through it. Quiet is also not the only criteria; making faces or lying down on the floor may have as much effect as a noisy toddler.

4) Consider bringing something for your child to hold. Simply holding, or silently playing with, a beanie baby or other soft (silent) simple object may help some children center down, while a book (with appropriate content and quiet page-turning) may be a useful tool for others. Readers should spend some part of their time in meeting without their nose in a book, however, and know to stop when messages are given.

These thoughts are offered from my experience of being in meeting for worship with my own children. . It’s my hope that increased attention to the issues of the learning process will contribute to the quality of our worship with children.

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In the April, 1998, Wellesley Meeting Newsletter, these thoughts were suggested for helping children to appreciate worship:

"In a meeting for worship, Friends of all ages may be moved to speak out of the silence. We settle into silence and listen; listen for the Spirit, listen to each message, and listen to what the message say to us during the silence that follows it. Meeting for worship can be a time to think about how we are connected to that of God in each of us.

The following excerpt from What is God? By Etan Boritzer may be helpful: "So, if you really want to feel God, you can close your eyes now, and listen to your breath go slowly in and out, and think how you are connected to everything, even if you are not touching everything. Try to feel how you are connected to your Dad, and how you are a part of Mom, try to feel how you are part of your whole family, like your brother or sister, your grandparents, your aunt or uncle, cousins, even your friends. And try to feel how all of those people are part of a whole bigger family, and how all the families of the world, (even those we can’t see or touch), are really a part of you and your family. And if you can start to feel God like that, then maybe you will soon feel the answer to that very, very big question that everyone asks, "What is God?"

With spunky illustrations and minimal, beginner reader text, the youngest readers can tackle this paraphrase of the Bible. As well, there are indexes to characters, topics and stories, as well as a table of contents listing all 96 stories.

Fourteen one-page stories of various Old Testament personalities and events for an adult to read, accompanied by a drawing for the child to color. Topics include: Eve and Adam, Noah, Sarah and Abraham, Moses, David and Goliath and Daniel.

This Bible retells forty Bible stories for young children, with large graceful illustrations by Tony Chen making it a good read-aloud storybook.

For use at home or for a small group of children at meeting, this Bible takes NIV translation text and arranges it to make continuous story lines. Sidebars with cultural, historical, and biblical reference material makes it a good learning tool for children and parents. Vivid illustrations break up pages in interesting ways to make it more approachable.

This paraphrased Bible uses graphically clear, simple text to tell major stories in a continuous flow. Its clarity of speech and beautiful illustrations by Tony Chen make it approachable for middle elementary to middle school students.

A one-volume complete curriculum with 34 sessions to familiarize students with major biblical stories. Simple one-page story with illustration (to color, perhaps) could be xeroxed for students to take home, or make their own book. Excellent teacher’s helps in the beginning and for each lesson detail themes, preparation and materials required, presentation, discussion, and crafts options.

& & & & & & & &

Look for the Christian Education Committee’s Browsing Library display at Yearly Meeting Sessions, and check out what the Bookstore has to offer.

The annotation for these Bible texts is part of the material in a new Bibliography Of Resources that will be available this fall from the Christian Education Committee.

& & & & & & & &

Friends General Conference Religious Education Committee is working on a book about Quaker parenting, to be titled: Opening Doors for Quaker Parents:Practicing Our Faith at Home.

Frank Gatti, Mt. Toby Meeting, is working on this project, which will rely heavily on personal experience from Quaker parents. Rather than be proscriptive, the book format will be stories, by which they hope to illustrate:

• How Quaker faith influences daily family life
• Attempts (successes and failures) by parents to teach Quaker values to children
• Problems that trying to live out faith cause
• Openings come from encountering these problems

Please send stories to:

Frank Gatti, 53 Iduna Lane, Amherst MA 01002 or email to fmgatti@javanet.com

By Mary Alice Benson

When the nominating process did not produce a clerk for the meeting’s religious education committee, it was decided to hold an open meeting to which everyone was invited. Over twenty adults, both parents and nonparents, gathered one First Day morning to talk about what they wanted for the children in the year ahead. A program of some sort was definitely desired, yet almost no one acknowledged feeling competent, or having the time to teach a class. When asked if they had some special area of knowledge, or a hobby or skill that they might share with the children, some ideas began to take shape. At the close of the meeting, pieces of paper were handed out, and people were asked to write down a topic or two on which they could lead a class for one First Day.

Four people agreed to be a steering committee to analyze the topics and to plan a second meeting. At that meeting, the suggestions for lessons were reported and the children were divided by age into two groups: kindergarten to first grade, and a primary class of ages seven to eleven. A baby sitter was planned for the nursery group. A schedule was worked out for the fall, stating the topics and the people to teach them. This process was repeated in midwinter and again in the spring to plan for the weeks ahead.

Since the meeting’s retreat in October was to be centered on William Penn, the first four lessons in the fall were to be about him. Teachers could use any methods and materials they wished, and one made use of Philadelphia Yearly Meeting’s curriculum on Penn.

After the retreat there were classes on artistic expression given by an artist and on making bird feeders. Feeding the birds was related to being responsible for feeding others, with Bible quotations and a bulletin board of the religious connections to feeding the hungry.

Further projects on birds developed as people in the meeting thought of things that they would like to do with the children. One person gave a lesson on bird identification. In the spring, the older class made birdhouses, while the younger children made strings of berries and corn for the birds to eat. There was a concern to relate religion to what the children were doing. One parent developed a lesson on the life of Buddha and the values he taught. Two other adults talked with the children about St. Francis of Assisi.

A six-week project during the winter that proved both popular and valuable was on conflict resolution. The meeting is fortunate to have an educator who has intensively studied conflict resolution and a psychologist who is skilled in this area. Together these two people, one a parent of children in the First Day School, led a series of lessons on this topic. Classes usually started with the children sharing something nice that had happened during the week, followed by refreshments. Then the discussion turned to the handling of anger.

 In assessing the year’s program, it was felt that the goal of keeping the children happily involved in First Day School had been accomplished. The adults who took part had fun, too! Perhaps one of the biggest advantages was that a number of adults got to know the children better. The meeting has become more interested in intergenerational events. It is hoped that these results mean that the children feel that they are an integral and valued part of the meeting. Interestingly, two years later and with several new families in the meeting, parents are planning a curriculum-oriented program with more Biblical and Quaker content.

*These comments reflect the prevalence of war play among boys, rather than girls.

This is from an article by Barbara Meltz in the Boston Globe, May 20, 1999: "Should Boys Have War Toys?", the Child Caring column. Copies are available by sending a request with a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Barbara Meltz, The Boston Globe, Box 2378, Boston MA 02107-2378

Dinner and Quaker Jeopardy – Saturday February 6 at 6 pm. Save the date for an evening of family fun. First, a fundraising dinner prepared by our Young Friends (proceeds for YouthQuake 2000). This will be followed by Jeopardy, prepared and hosted by our Middle Schoolers. Suggested donation will be posted, cost will be reasonable. Rumor has it that it might be wise to "bone up" on the miracles of Jesus.

Parents Night Out. Friends of all ages are invited to this first annual event, which will have three categories of participation. Follow closely:

1. Parents of young children are invited to a potluck at Debbie and Hugh Gelch’s home after
2. already having dropped off their children at the meetinghouse, where
3. other Wellesley Friends will provide oversight, a "Children’s Favorite Foods" dinner, and fun. Hugh Gelch and Martha Schwope are planning this event and would love to have help in this next stage of coordinating. We want to get information directly to young parents, to organize sign-ups and the children’s potluck, to lead games, and so forth. Anyone willing?

The meeting’s newsletter was interspersed with copies of meeting children’s line drawings. Notation reads: Throughout this newsletter I hope you have noticed and enjoyed the drawings of our young peacemakers. With the help of Sheila Garrett on Sunday, November 29^th, the kids drew and talked about some of the things which they were thankful for about Quakers. The things they said included: the rope swing, Friends/friends, we can talk in our meeting, grandparents, life, things for kids to do, young peacemakers, kid’s story, Sunday School, toy room, snacks, making figures, helping the needy, Christmas and birthdays, mitten tree, Christmas baskets, Bible Camp, stories, Christmas Program, the quiet.

Cambridge Friends Meeting has paid positions open for a First Day School Coordinator (20 hours/week) and a First Day School Assistant (10 hours/week), and also seeks a curriculum writer. Please contact Ghanda diFiglia (617-864-0895) if you are interested or have anyone to suggest

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If you are receiving this newsletter, but not active in teaching at your meeting, please hand this on.

If you wish to be removed from the mailing list, or to add yourself to the mailing list, please send your name and address and monthly meeting to the NEYM office*.

The New England Yearly Meeting Christian Education Newsletter is a project of the NEYM C.E. Committee. We would appreciate contributions of book and curriculum and conference reviews and news from your meetings. Send to the NEYM office.*901 Pleasant Street, Worcester MA 01602.

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YOUTHQUAKE 2000 GATHERS YOUNG FRIENDS FROM AROUND THE COUNTRY

To be full participants in a conference with a Christian emphasis, our Young Friends need our help to prepare spiritually, intellectually, and financially.

A) Meeting members who are interested in the teens and in learning with them about Jesus and a Quaker approach to scripture need to partner with our Young Friends in study and discussion.

B) Young Friends will need encouragement and assistance to attend interim conferences, which will help them to begin to clarify what they believe and learn more about Quakerism, as well as get acquainted with the wider world of Quaker youth. Some of these conferences are:

FUM Triennial July 14-18 in Williamsburg VA.

NEYM Young Friend retreats with themes about Jesus and scripture

C) We can all help in fundraising efforts so that Young Friends who wish to go will not be stopped by financial concerns. A likely "round number" would be $800. per participant for the conference and transportation.

I will be contacting monthly meetings whose Young Friends have already expressed interest. Do you know any Young Friends to contact to see if they are interested? Give me (Chris Jorgenson) a call at 617-625-4494 for more information.