February 1, 2006

Dear Friends,

We are glad that you are considering traveling with concerns relating to the Friends United Meeting personnel policy.  Yearly Meeting sessions in August 2005 approved a minute encouraging intervisitation as one way of addressing this concern. The following excerpts from minute 2005-60 describe this:

1. We encourage intervisitation among Friends within NEYM.  The key to grappling with concerns regarding FUM’s Personnel policy is to come to know each other in a deeper, richer fuller way and to support each other in our lives.

2. We encourage intervisitation among yearly meetings in FUM as suggested by the FUM General Board. To better recognize the Light in each Friend, we need to know one another on a personal level.  We will build trust through bringing love, humility, tenderness, clarity and truth to our relationships.

The NEYM Ministry and Counsel Working Party on FUM’s Personnel Policy, working with Ministry and Counsel and the NEYM FUM Committee, was asked to nurture this process. Part of our response is to create this packet to help potential travelers and their meetings find clarity. 

Good Quaker order involves a solid clearness process.  While the clearness process may seem at times like a lot of unimportant, time-consuming bother, the clearness process is important both for the Meeting and the traveler.  Clearness serves the Meeting by involving it closely in the work, and serves the traveler by deepening their understanding and conscious clarity about the business at hand. 

We trust the discernment process, whatever its outcome, will enrich you and all involved. The concern runs deep for many Friends within NEYM. Traveling with a concern is an important way of living out our faith, and often brings blessings for the traveler as well. 
God’s blessings to you,

The NEYM M&C Working Party on the FUM Personnel Policy
 
 

Contents of the packet for those considering traveling with this concern:

1. Contacting the M&C Discernment Sub-committee 
2. Suggested Queries for Individuals Traveling in Relation to the FUM Personnel Policy on Sexual Ethics 
3. Suggested Queries for Monthly Meetings Providing Clearness Committees 
4. The Clearness Process for Traveling Under NEYM’s Concern about FUM’S Personnel Policy 

a) Good Order in Travelling with a Concern
b) Summary of Steps for Clearness to Travel Outside New England Yearly Meeting 
c) Summary of Steps for Clearness to Travel Within NEYM Outside Your Quarter
d) Ways to Travel when Traveling under a Concern
e) Reporting Back

a) History of the FUM Policy, including the words of the policy section under question. 
b) Report of the Working Party to Sessions 2005 regarding its work since Sessions 2004 
c) NEYM Minutes from Sessions 2005 
d) NEYM Young Adult Friends Minute from Sessions 2005
e) List of FUM meetings in North America with dates of sessions and a brief description of each yearly meeting

Living with Oneself and Others
A paper publication by NEYM that includes thoughts on sexuality

http://www.bym-rsf.org/intervisitation
Baltimore YM’s website describing BYM’s intervisitation program with a concern for the FUM Personnel Policy

http://www.fum.org
The website of Friends United Meeting with information about their programs, ministries and constituent YMs

Contacting the Ministry and Counsel Discernment Sub-committee

We would appreciate your contacting us as early as possible.  Feel free to contact us for questions and comments.
 
MnCDiscSubC@neym.org
508-754-6760
901 Pleasant Street, Worcester, MA 01602
 

Ann Armstrong

Chris Dellea

Jeremiah Dickinson

Bonnie Norton

 
 

 Spiritual Preparation

1. Do I have a sense of divine leading to visit among Friends within New England or other YMs within FUM? Do I have a concern to spend time with FUM Friends, to be open to their concerns, and to share with them in the life of the Spirit?
2. In what capacity am I led to travel?  Am I called to bear the weight of this concern with a travel minute?  Am I called to travel as a companion with a letter of introduction?   Or am I called to know and be known, with a letter of introduction.
3. Does my monthly meeting confirm my sense of leading, after a clearness process? 
4. Am I committed to the Society of Friends and to New England Yearly Meeting?  Am I familiar with New England Friends and the breadth of theological diversity we encompass, as well as the Advices and Queries of New England Yearly Meeting, so that I can represent New England Friends appropriately?
5. Am I ready to experience worship outside my tradition, be it Bible-based, Christ-centered or Universalist Quakerism?  Have I attended both programmed and unprogrammed worship in New England?
6. Am I familiar with the Bible, especially the Gospels? Am I able to attend committee meetings or other gatherings in preparation for the trip? 
7. How do I explain my faith to those who may experience God and Christ differently from me? Can I dialogue without rancor with Quakers who are also proselytizers, Jewish, pagan, Buddhist or non-theists?
8. Are there any personal or family issues which affect my decision to travel?  Can I be released from work, school, and family responsibilities to enable me to go on this trip? Do I have any health conditions which may affect the trip? Am I willing to raise all or part of my own expenses, if need be?
9. Am I willing to be changed?

 Cross Faith dialogue

1. What ways can I share positive impressions or stories about FUM Friends and their ministries?
2. How much do I understand the common ground and conflicts among the five branches of Friends?
3. Have I considered how Christianity has both supported oppression and has given liberation to those who are oppressed?
4. While visiting, am I willing to listen to Friends’ different viewpoints? Am I thinking of offering a more structured format?
5. What ways do I handle those who are reticent to dialogue at all on this topic?

Ethics

1. What informs the ethical standards that I hold to in the area of sexuality? Am I familiar with relevant published material on sexuality such as NEYM minutes, Faith and Practice, and Living with Oneself and Others?
2. Am I prepared to open my heart to Friends even if I disagree with them on questions of politics and life style, such as Friends who have testimonies of absention from the use of alcohol, tobacco, and sexual activity outside legal marriage as part of their Quakerism? 
3. Do I understand completely the meaning of the FUM personnel policy and its ramifications for Friends in different parts of the world?
4. Am I familiar with Bible passages that refer to same sex relationships and am ready to dialogue with those who feel homosexuality is wrong?

Conflict & Reconciliation

1. Am I comfortable communicating with those who disagree with me and who show anger on this topic?
2. Jesus asked us to love our enemies.  Do we see those who disagree with us as opponents and how do we work together for justice?
3. Am I aware of my own internal feelings, such as anger or pain?  Do I use these feelings honestly, creatively and constructively?

The term "clearness process" may be ambiguous.  When a Friend asks for a clearness committee on a personal issue such as a career change, the committee's focus is on whether the individual is clear to proceed.  On the other hand, for matters which require monthly meeting action (for example, membership or marriage under the care of the meeting), the committee necessarily has a dual focus:  Is the individual clear, and is the meeting in unity with that choice and clear to endorse or recommend it as a corporate decision?  The process for Friends traveling with a concern should be of the latter type.  Both Permanent Board and the quarterly meetings rely on the discernment of monthly meetings whether a particular Friend is an appropriate person to represent New England Yearly Meeting.

1. Does the Friend have a divine leading to share with FUM Friends in that which is eternal?  Is the Friend's primary motive a spiritual one, rather than self-interest, including political aims or professional interest in FUM?
2. Does the Friend display the spiritual and emotional maturity which will enable him or her to be attentive, with an open heart, to the needs and conditions of FUM Friends?
3. Will this Friend respond with sensitivity and wisdom to differences in culture, life style, theology, or form of worship which she or he may find disturbing?
4. When unexpected difficulties arise, for example in the logistics of travel or in interpersonal relationships, will the Friend respond with discernment, flexibility, and good judgment?
6. Is this Friend an appropriate representative of your Meeting and of New England Yearly Meeting, one whose visit among other YMs will enrich and strengthen the relationship between yearly meetings?
7. Is the Meeting prepared to offer the personal and spiritual support this Friend’s needs before and after the trip?

If you are interested in visiting Friends outside of your meeting or in other yearly meetings, traveling under a concern about FUM's personnel policy, this information may be helpful to you, as you enter into a process of prayerful discernment regarding this possibility.

Do not travel alone.  Historically Quakers have traveled with an elder or companion who is a seasoned Friend. The elder/companion provides spiritual support, logistic support, and helps with discernment along the way.  Your call may be to act as an elder for another person.  The M&C Discernment Sub-committtee might be able to help you find a traveling companion.

For travel within your Quarter:
Go through a clearness process with your Monthly Meeting.  The purpose of a clearness committee is as much to help arrive at clearness for the traveler as for the meeting.  Get a travel minute/letter of introduction, approved by the Monthly Meeting as a whole.  Some Quarters may have funds to support this travel.

For travel outside the Quarter, inside the Yearly Meeting:
In addition to the above, you generally also need endorsement from the Quarterly Meeting. The M&C Discernment Sub-committee would appreciate knowing you are traveling under the weight of the concern about FUM’s Personnel Policy.

For travel outside the Yearly Meeting: 
In addition to the above, you also need the endorsement of the M&C Discernment Committee and the NEYM Permanent Board.  Friends are of course free to make their own arrangements to visit Friends in other yearly meetings but such visitors are not representatives of New England Yearly Meeting.  Because of scheduling, the approval from the Quarter is sometimes out of sequence.

1. Arrange for a clearness process within your Monthly Meeting.
2. Contact the M&C Discernment Sub-committee to let them know you are considering travel with this concern.
3.   Go through the clearness process with your monthly meeting.  Have a letter of introduction or travel minute written and approved by your Monthly Meeting. 
4. Forward the letter of introduction or travel minute to the M&C Discernment Sub-committee.  Include a note with when and where you intend to travel, along with any request for partial financial support.  Some limited funds have been allocated for this by NEYM.  Ministry and Counsel Discernment Sub-committee goes through a discernment process, gets the endorsement of the Permanent Board and returns the travel minute to you. (The monthly meeting and M&C processes may be concurrent but both must be completed before the names are presented to the Permanent Board.)
5. Travel under the weight of the concern.
6. Report back to your Monthly Meeting and the M&C Discernment Sub-committee after your return.

1. Arrange for a clearness process within your Monthly Meeting.
2. Contact the M&C Discernment Sub-committee to let them know you are considering travel with this concern.
3. Go through the clearness process with your monthly meeting.  Have a letter of introduction or travel minute written and approved by your Monthly Meeting.
4. Forward the letter of introduction or travel minute for endorsement by the Quarterly Meeting.
5. Concurrently with #4, forward the letter of introduction or travel minute to the M&C Discernment Sub-committee.  Include a note with when and where you intend to travel. 
6. Travel under the weight of the concern.
7. Report back to your Monthly Meeting and the M&C Discernment Sub-committee after your return.

Attend the yearly meeting sessions of another yearly meeting in FUM.  Visit with Friends over meals, in workshops and during breaks.  Come to know and be known.
Attend a meeting for worship of an individual meeting.  Contact someone at a meeting before traveling, and seek hospitality.  Attend the meeting’s first day school programs for adults.  Suggest a potluck with a few Friends before or after meeting.  Share your meeting’s joys and concerns, ask about those of the host meeting.  Share your own spiritual journey and ask about the spiritual journey of others.  Listen for where the words come from.
Travel to an area for a week or two.  Contact meetings well before traveling.  Visit as many meetings in an area as possible.  Visit with clerks, pastors, families in the meetings.

There are several ways travelers might report back. Some face-to-face contact is essential, though writing can be part of the process.
a) Travelers are encouraged to meet with their monthly meeting clearness committee upon their return.
b) The Ministry and Counsel Discernment Sub-committee would like to meet with a group of those returning for a de-briefing session.
c) Travelers may be called to witness to their experience with meetings or groups in NEYM.
d) Travelers may “report” at sessions, in business sessions, workshops, interest groups, and/or informal conversations.

Until 1988, Friends United Meeting had not been able to openly discuss or reach a decision regarding its position on homosexual relationships.  That year, staff made a decision not to appoint a gay man to the Quaker Volunteer Witness program, and to request that the Board adopt a personnel policy that would give staff guidance on the issue.  In response, Friends United Meeting received a flood or letters from individuals and meetings, and staff conducted visits in several member yearly meetings to test possible policy options.  Ben Richmond prepared a “Working Paper on Appointment of Homosexuals to QVW” to discuss the issues involved and made recommendations for policy.  This paper was circulated to the Board prior to the October 1988 meetings, and in the concluding minute on the subject requested that the paper “be saved as a contextual and historical document.”  After a preliminary discussion within the World Ministries Commission (which oversaw the QVW program), a revised version of the recommendations from that paper was presented to the General Board.

Board minute 88 GB 52 reflects the thorough and tender discussion of the issues involved.  Three paragraphs were separately approved:
(a) We affirm the civil rights of all people to secular employment, housing, education and health care without regard to their sexual orientation.  In particular, we condemn violence, whether verbal or physical, against homosexuals, and call for their full protection under the civil rights laws. 
(b) We reaffirm our traditional testimonies of peace, simplicity, truth speaking, gender and racial equality, personal integrity, fidelity, chastity and community.  We recognize that there is diversity among us on issues of sexuality.  For the purpose of our corporate life together, we affirm our traditional testimony that sexual intercourse should be confined to the bonds of marriage, which we understand to be between one man and one woman.
(c) The lifestyle of volunteers under appointment to Quaker Volunteer Witness, regardless of their sexual orientation, should be in accordance with these testimonies.

According to the same minute, the General Board also approved adding the following statement:
These policies are based on Friends beliefs as interpreted by Friends United Meeting since its beginning.

In March 1991, the General Board Executive Committee approved (91 GBEX 18) circulation of an “Organizational and Personnel Policy Manuel.”  It took the QVW policy and extended it as follows:
Friends United Meeting holds to the traditional Friends testimonies of peace (nonviolence), simplicity, truth speaking, community, gender and racial equality, chastity, and fidelity in marriage.  It is expected that the lifestyle of all staff and volunteer appointees of Friends United Meeting will be in accordance with these testimonies. 
     Friends United Meeting affirms the civil rights of all people.  Staff and volunteer appoint-ments are made without regard to sexual orientation.  It is expected that sexual intercourse should be confined to marriage, understood to be between one man and one woman.
This wording has been retained in all subsequent editions of the Personnel Manual. 

The 1988 minute placed the personnel policy within the framework of traditional Friends testimonies and said that the policy applied to the corporate activities of FUM.  The wording of the 1991 Personnel Manual explicitly applied the policy to all staff and volunteer appointees of FUM. 

At the 2004 Sessions, Friends approved the following minute regarding FUM’s personnel policy.
 

Minute 74.  Friends heard the second draft of the minute of exercise on concerns about Friends United Meeting’s personnel policy and asked that explicit reference to FUM’s hiring policy and practices be included.

 Minute of Exercise on FUM’s Personnel Policy
New England Yearly Meeting Friends gathered at our annual sessions reaffirm our belonging to Friends United Meeting, not only as co-founders, and firmly led co-participants in its ministries, but as Friends whose faith has been strengthened and recharged by God’s presence in our worship, work, and fellowship with FUM Friends. FUM remains one of the most important places where we meet Friends who challenge our beliefs, and where African, Latin-American, Middle Eastern, and North American Friends meet face to face, growing in love and understanding. Since the 1940s when we were called to re-unite our previously separated Yearly Meetings, and since the early ‘90’s when we developed special bonds of love and mutual ministry with Cuba Yearly Meeting we have learned to live with our differences, and we have come to feel how painful it would be to live in isolation from other Friends. 
     At the same time that we cherish our membership and participation in FUM, many of us are troubled by FUM’s personnel policies and practices, which exclude non-celibate gays and lesbians, and unmarried heterosexual couples from leadership roles. Within NEYM we have struggled for years with same-gender marriage, and while support is not universal, we have watched as Friends’ understanding of the truth has grown to include the belief that an individual’s sexual orientation is no measure of their ability to express God’s love through committed long-term relationships.
In the same vein, over the years we have grown to understand that God’s gifts of ministry and leadership are bestowed with no consideration of sexual orientation or marital status. Indeed we have been blessed countless times by the ministry and leadership of those who would not be allowed to serve under the FUM policies.
While some are hurt, and some are angry, we are ALL troubled by the lack of unity on this issue. In the interest of creating a more perfect world, Gospel Order requires us to seek together for God’s will, and for the love, which has been wounded by our differences. 
     We invite the FUM Board to come again to New England, to work among us, to worship and be hosted by all of us, to see our lives speaking. We make ourselves available to be invited to worship and testify among FUM Friends, and among other yearly and monthly meetings about these concerns.
     As we continue discernment within NEYM, we ask the administration of FUM to consider, as we have at NEYM 2004 sessions, “Who is your neighbor?” Jesus taught us that love and compassion for the neighbor who does not look like us is more important than the written law.

Friends approved the minute. 

New England YM representatives to the FUM General Board were charged to carry our concern during the upcoming FUM General Board meeting. We direct that this minute of exercise be sent to our monthly meetings and quarterly meetings under the care of the Ministry & Counsel Working Party on FUM’s Personnel Policy, accompanied by whatever other materials seem necessary for consideration. We expect M&C to bring a minute based on the discernment over the year to our 2005 sessions. 

The approved packet was sent to all MM clerks, all QM clerks, all pastors, and all members of YM M&C in February.  Twenty-four MMs, about 1/3 of the MMs in NEYM, responded as of August 1, as did three individuals.  Of these 24 MMs, 19 sent minutes formally approved at meetings for business, others sent informal notes on threshing sessions.   We have heard that a number of MMs are beginning to thresh the concern, or plan to do so in the coming months. 

The Working Party met on July 25 and read aloud the responses from MMs.  We were struck by the evident care and thought that Friends had put into their consideration of the concern.  Threshing the concern brought gifts from God, as Friends looked at the deeper issues behind the concern.  We sensed a deep yearning to move beyond our own MMs and to join with others in understanding the range of Quakerism and how Friends live out their faith.  We sensed substantial unity on the following points:

1. concern about the policy, as it blocks ministry within FUM by Friends valued in NEYM
2. a desire to remain part of FUM
3. a desire to come to know better Friends from other YMs in FUM 
4. the importance of having that be truly loving and open
5. no wish to withhold the contributions to FUM from NEYM in FY2006.
6. gratitude for the gift of struggling with this concern.

NEYM Minute 60.  The working party on the FUM Personnel Policy brought to us a revised minute. We affirm the sense of the Minute of Exercise on FUM’s Personnel Policy (04-74).

Friends in New England believe the Divine Light is present in all; we have learned that gifts and leadings of the Spirit to ministry and service are given without regard to sexual orientation. As our 2004 Minute of Exercise says, “. . . we have been blessed countless times by the ministry and leadership of those who would not be allowed to serve under the FUM policies.” For many reasons, we are deeply pained by the exclusion of some in our midst and by the implied condemnation contained in the FUM policy.

Despite this pain, we intend to remain a full member of Friends United Meeting. Our connections with Friends throughout the world help us to experience the common ground of our Quaker faith and call us to seek more deeply in those areas where we disagree. We affirm our intention to work with the General Board and other yearly meetings to change current personnel policy to allow Friends to be considered for full participation in the work and ministry of FUM.

We have more to do in New England.

1. We encourage monthly meetings whose discernment is not complete to continue their work. 

2. We encourage intervisitation among Friends within NEYM.  The key to grappling with concerns regarding FUM’s personnel policy is to come to know each other in a deeper, richer, fuller way and to support each other in our lives. 

3. We need to care tenderly for gay, lesbian and other Friends who feel pain because of the current policy.  We also need to care tenderly for Friends who feel this policy reflects their spiritual and ethical guidelines.  We likewise need to care for Friends who feel uneasy about expressing their views about this concern because they are not in agreement with most Friends in their monthly meeting, whether their meeting supports FUM’s policy or wishes to see it changed. 

4. We need to explore a common sense of sexual ethics.

We also have more to do in our ongoing relationship with other yearly meetings of FUM.

1. We encourage intervisitation among yearly meetings in FUM, as suggested by the FUM General Board.  To better recognize on the Light in each Friend, we need to know one another on a personal level.  We will build trust through bringing love, humility, tenderness, clarity and truth to our relationships.

2. We need to seek common ground, appreciating the good intentions of others who have different practices and understanding of God’s will. 

3. We need to learn how to witness with love, patience and openness. 

4. We ask the Ministry & Counsel working party on FUM’s Personnel Policy, in consultation with both M&C and the NEYM FUM Committee, to continue its work and to report its progress to Sessions 2006. We send this minute to the General Board of FUM, and to all its member yearly meetings.

Thanks to the grace of God, the tenderness of Friends, and the hard work of the working party, Friends were able to approve this minute. Five Friends stood aside from this approval and three of them requested that their names be recorded: Joanna Cole (Burl); Katherine Fulton (Worc); Pamela Hughes (Sand). 
 

NEYM Minute 61. To support intervisitation with other yearly meetings within FUM, we authorize the establishment of a contributory fund to receive gifts to support such travel. We ask the Finance Committee to recommend and appropriate transfer to this new fund. We ask Permanent Board to develop an oversight structure for administration of this fund. Friends approved. The Treasurer informed us that this morning we had received a check for $3000 for this purpose. 
 

NEYM Minute 62. The Young Adult Friends read a minute of exercise approved at their business session in response to the FUM Personnel Policy and expressing their concern about NEYM’s reluctance to talk openly about issues of sexuality. We encourage the NEYM Ministry and Counsel working party to continue the work they have begun, including consideration of how the YM can begin to explore a common sense of sexual ethics.

     See YAF Minute 05-13 below for the text of this minute.

YAF Minute 05-13. A group of YAFs who met under a concern for FUM’s personnel policy brought forward the following minute, addressed to the wider yearly meeting:

As young Adult Friends, we are united as allies and members of the Quaker gay and lesbian community and support loving couples who choose not to or cannot enter into the institution of marriage. As such, we find FUM’s personnel policy to be discriminatory and hypocritical. We are concerned that the conflict brought up by this policy hints at a larger issue that needs to be dealt with as a Yearly Meeting.

          There is a hesitancy in our community to speak openly about any kind of sexuality. This lack of dialogue keeps us from clarifying our views on positive sexual relationships and hinders our ability to confront real issues such as homophobia and hetero-sexism that continue to cause great pain within our Monthly and Yearly meetings.
          These realizations have only come after open and honest discussion. We as a body need to deal with questions such as:
          • What defines a positive and spiritual sexual relationship?
          •  How do we deal with homophobia and hetero-sexism in our community?

          We believe that if these questions were brought to Monthly Meetings, Yearly meeting, and intervisitation with other FUM meetings, it would create a positive relationship that would foster understanding, laying the path for not only changing the words of FUM’s personnel policy, but the condemnation behind it.

          We hope that working through the difficulty and pain of this confrontation will ultimately strengthen relationships with other meetings within FUM from whom we have benefited in the past and hope to grow and learn with in the future.

          Some Friends expressed concern regarding the lack of a clear spiritual call expressed in the message, though some felt the call was present in the minute’s overall concern for the love and dignity of human beings. Another said that he felt the minute needs to distinguish between discrimination against same-sex couples in a covenant relationship, and other sexual relationships.

YAFs are committed to labor with each other, the wider yearly meeting, and Friends everywhere on this issue, though we have not yet found unity in this minute. Friends approved sharing this minute with the wider YM as a minute of exercise, to offer a sense of our own concern and struggles. 

* Membership statistics from reports received by Friends World Committee for Consultation in 2001.

Compiled 1/11/06 by Jonathan Vogel-Borne, NEYM Field Secretary